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28 Ways To Nail The Celebrity Noughties Look

Of all the decades we’d happily revisit, the noughties is not one of them. Perhaps when we pass the 2020 mark, we’ll find room in our hearts once more for head scarves worn as belts or frightfully low-slung, mid wash jeans paired with black, satin kitten-heeled shoes. *Shudder*. It’s highly unlikely, but never say never. We thought that mules or plastic, stretchy chokers were a thing of the past, but boy were we wrong.

1. First off, you’re going to need a massive, chunky belt that sits on your hips, serving no purpose whatsoever. The closer it looks to something Xena Princess Warrior might wear, the better.

405081 02: Mary-Kate (R) and Ashley Olsen pose for photographers as they present a check to the BBC for Children in Need for more than $800, 000, raised by donations from supermarket chain ASDA customers, May 8, 2002 in London. (Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images)

2. Then, you’ll need a pair of sunglasses that engulf your head like a bug and/or boast a yellow tint. Bono continued to champion this look well after 2004.
MTV Beach House Spankin New Summer Music Week With Ashanti

3. Men can do it too; see Brad Pitt.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston at the premiere of "Rock Star" at the Mann Village Theater in Los Angeles, Ca. 9/4/01. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.
4. When it comes to hair, you want lots of bits around your face. Turn your GHD up full blast and proceed to straighten your thin, wispy fringe within an inch of its life, almost to the point that you can no longer see.

HOLLYWOOD - NOVEMBER 13:  Actress Ashlee Simpson arrives at the Sony Ericsson T610 and T616 "Shoot for the Stars" Charity Auction to benefit The Make-A-Wish Foundation held at the Skybar at the Mondrian Hotel on November 13, 2003 in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

5. And while we’re at it, what are you doing growing out your eyebrows? Pluck them away until you resemble a McDonalds sign.

DUBLIN, IRELAND - JANUARY 26:  Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy attends Samantha Mumba's 21st Birthday Party on January 26, 2004 at The Four Seasons Hotel, in Dublin, Ireland. (Photo by ShowBiz Ireland/Getty Images)

6. Whatever you do, don’t ask your hairdresser for ‘natural looking highlights’. What you want is peroxide blonde ‘chunks’ on top of very dark tresses; it will enhance your Johnson & Johnson tan. And loads of layers. LOADS.

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7. Why wear skinny jeans when you can wear these mid-wash bad boys? They’ll work like magic with your favourite white pointy shoes. And your favourite studded white belt, and your favourite ironic t-shirt that always starts a conversation.

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - AUGUST 8:  Actress Anne Hathaway attends The 2004 Teen Choice Awards held on August 8, 2004 at Universal Amphitheater, in Universal City, California. (Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images)

8. Work it, Anne Hathaway.

9. We’re not surprised she wore these shoes so often. They just work with everything, you know?

WESTWOOD, CA - APRIL 3:  Actress Anne Hathaway attend Nickelodeon's 17th Annual Kids' Choice Awards at Pauley Pavilion on the campus of UCLA, April 3, 2004 in Westwood, California.  (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

10. Now, if you really want to wear your favourite summer dress but it’s a little nippy outside, just wear your mid-wash, wide-fit jeans underneath it, and then throw on a coat with a pattern that clashes beyond belief. Simples.

NEW YORK - MARCH 28:  (U.S. TABS AND HOLLYWOOD REPORTER OUT) Actress Anne Hathaway attends the "Ella Enchanted" film premiere at the Clearview Beekman Theatre March 28, 2004 in New York City. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images)

11. You need to just look in the mirror and tell yourself: ‘yeah, the pointier the shoe, the better they’ll look with these flared hipster jeans and my awesome tiny purse’. And ‘this ensemble is nothing without a hat.’

LOS ANGELES - DECEMBER 2:  (US TABS OUT/HOLLYWOOD REPORTER OUT)  Actress Rachal Bilson arrives for the premier party for "The Simple Life" on December 2, 2003 at Bliss in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

12. You just can’t have too many hats. Preferably ones that say ‘Kangol’.

Singer Jessica Simpson backstage at the opening night of the MTV TRL Tour at the Pepsi Arena in Albany, NY. 7/18/01.  Photo by Scott Gries/ImageDirect

13. There’s so much noughties going on here, we don’t know where to start. If you’re not sure what ’00s trend you want to rock, just wear all of them at the same time. The noughties were all about layering, and jeans that drag along the ground, inevitably ripping at the ends, soaking up rain and dirt.

IRVINE, CA - JUNE 26:  Actors Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attend the grand opening of the Fox Sports Grill at the Irvine Spectrum on June 26, 2003 in Irvine, California.  The sports grill will open to the public on June 27, 2003.  (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

14. When we weren’t wearing flat pointy-toed pumps, we were rocking some trendy boots. So gorgeous were these boots, they demanded our full attention. Wearing pants that cover them up? Are you crazy? You simply roll them up, a la JLO. And it doesn’t matter if your pants are light pink and your boots are as black as night.

SANTA MONICA, CA - MARCH 15:  Recording artist/actress Jessica Simpson at "HoopLA," hosted by Frankie Muniz to benefit The Starlight Children's Foundation at Crossroads School on March 15, 2003 in Santa Monica, California.  (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images)

15. You can even pair them with a red carpet dress.

NEW YORK-DECEMBER 17:  Actress Anne Hathaway arrives at the premiere of the film "Nicholas Nickleby" December 17, 2002 in New York City, New York. (Photo by Lawrence Lucier/Getty Images)

16. Beyond your staple black boots, you’re going to need a pair of cream or white boots, otherwise known as the ultimate wardrobe staple circa 2002.

Jennifer Lopez

17. Also essential is a velour tracksuit, which you should free to pair with said cream boots (just shove them in; it WILL work). And a visor. And just a hint of bra.

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18. Lace-up boots with a ra-ra skirt is also totally okay.

Rachel Bilson at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue party

19. If there’s one fashion trend synonymous with the early noughties, it’s wearing jeans or pants that leave little to the imagination. Not only will you give those around you an eyeful, you’ll keep the bikini waxers of this world in business.

15th ANNUAL KIDS CHOICE AWARDS - Arrivals

20. One of Britney’s favourite ensemble features was the baring of her hip bones.

Britney Spears at *NSYNC's party to celebrate the release of their new CD 'Celebrity' at Moomba in Los Angeles, Ca. 7/23/01. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

21. The noughties was also a time for skirts with splits, skirts with random bits hanging off them, and, well, generally stunning looking skirts, we think you’ll agree.

Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd arrive at the premiere of 'America's Sweethearts' at the Village Theater in Los Angeles, Ca. 7/17/01. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Jennifer Lopez onstage at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards held at the Metropolitan Opera House at Lincoln Center in New York City on September 6, 2001. Photo by Scott Gries/ImageDirect

Paris Hilton arrives for the 2002 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, August 29, 2002. Photo by Frank Micelotta/ImageDirect.

22. Paris Hilton was a style icon. She was.

388717 06: Model Paril Hilton attends Maxim Magazine's Hot 100 party May 3, 2001 in Hollywood, CA. The event featured this year's most popular female actresses, athletes, musicians and models chosen by the magazine's readers. (Photo by Newsmakers)

23. Together, Paris and Nicole Richie told the world that denim blazers with nothing underneath was, like, so totally hot. And if you want to go one step further? Douse your chest in body shimmer. And then layer on the iridescent lipgloss. (We’re not even going to discuss that eyeshadow).

397982 09: Model Paris Hilton poses with singer Lionel Richie's daughter, Nicole outside The Lounge club November 29, 2001 in West Hollywood, CA. (Photo by David Klein/Getty Images)

24. White was the undisputed colour of the decade.

Jennifer Lopez Performs In Palm Springs

25. You should always wear white head to to. And if it’s a white suit, all the better.

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25. And your girl band was nothing if you didn’t wear matching outfits.

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26. At least stick within the same colour scheme if you want any chance at success. And you should always wear fake tan that’s at least five shades darker than you are.

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27. Lastly, your boyfriend’s ties are multifunctional. Take one of his favourites and simply wrap it around your pants for an instant sexy belt update.

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