SPOILERS ARE COMING.
1. Jon Snow better not be dead.
2. I know Kit Harrington has sworn over and over that Jon Snow is dead but he actually better not be dead.
3. His name is still in the credits.
5. I actually can’t believe that he is dead. There is no joy in this show.
6. Davos! Where the Hell have you been?
7. Melisandre better breathe some R’hllor power into Jon Snow. “I saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell.” You know nothing Melisandre. You clearly cannot read your visions. Or is that a vision still to come?
8. I hope Ghost tears Alliser Thorne and Olly apart.
9. I hope a wildling army of white walkers gets them both.
10. Where will Sansa go though? If she escapes, what’s left for her to do?
11. The Starks can’t catch a break. That should be the tagline for Game Of Thrones.
12. Jesus, run Sansa.
13. Ramsay Bolton will feed her and Theon to the kennelmaster’s dogs.
14. Oh, thank god. YES BRIENNE.
15. Really though, even if Brienne of Tarth saves Sansa, what the hell is Sansa going to do with the rest of her life?
16. Pod is the best, I would be really annoyed if he was killed off. Not quite Jon Snow level annoyed, but definitely Shireen level annoyed.
17. No matter how many Starks Theon saves, I will never truly forgive him.
18. Where the Hell does Sansa go now though?
19. Uh oh. Cersei is going to lose her actual life when she sees Myrcella.
20. This is the worst thing about Game Of Thrones. All of your nice favourites die, and you hate the villains who kill them with an all-encompassing rage but when they finally get the revenge you want, it’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for them – like Cersei and Theon Greyjoy.
21. Also, Jaime Lannister. How did I go from hating Jaime Lannister to him becoming one of my favourites? And what happened to him moving on from Cersei? I want him to ditch her and accept that he is in love with Brienne of Tarth.
22. In case you forget, in season 5 during the flashback scene of the witch’s prophecy, the witch tells Cersei she will have three children and says, “gold will be their crowns, gold their shrouds.” How will Tommen die though?
23. Maybe Margaery will kill him when she finally gets out of here.
24. Yes, Cersei and Margaery deserve this but I still want to see that septa and the High Septon get their comeuppance when King’s Landing gets back in order.
25. Ellaria does what she wants! We are truly deviating from the books now. Yes I have read the books and yes that gives me more ownership of Game Of Thrones than you.
26. I actually hate everyone in this show except like five people.
27. The Sand Snakes are taking no prisoners. Oberyn would not have been down with this.
28. Finally, Tyrion and Varys.
29. I can’t wait for Tyrion and Daenerys to meet and hash out their problems and be best friends.
30. And for Jon Snow to come back alive and they can be three best friends and rule the Seven Kingdoms.
31. Tyrion and Varys are definitely in my top favourites.
32. See, Tyrion knows all the things. He will make a great head of the three headed Jon-Daenerys-Tyrion dragon that takes over Westeros. Yes, I see my theory has some problems, but I still hold out hope in my heart and my ovaries for the resurrection of Jon Snow.
33. Poor Jorah. I hope Jorah and Daario find Daenerys soon. I really don’t have any more patience for her ruling Essos.
34. Where is Drogon to eat these Dothraki douches?
35. “Seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time is among the five best things in life.” Why five? And what are the other four?
36. Game Of Thrones, the weekend, lie ins and food are the other four. It is known.
37. Daenerys is so fierce when she’s angry and starts a rant with “I am Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen.”
38. Yeah, Mother Of Dragons, bitch.
39. Ah here, we don’t have time for you to be dragging her to the dosh khaleen. Showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss have said previously said they only want to make seven seasons. If that’s still true, that makes this the second last series of Game Of Thrones and Daenerys still hasn’t got any concrete plans laid down to get back to Westeros. We’ve spent six seasons building an army and dealing with a few extremists, I want at least one of her ruling in Westeros.
40. This must read like another language to anybody who doesn’t watch Game Of Thrones. Although if you don’t like Game Of Thrones, you’re already basically a lesser being with a lower intellect. It is known. The selection of people in my Facebook newsfeed who shared “Am I the only person who has never seen a single episode of Game Of Thrones” proves it.
41. Along with what the hell is Sansa going to do now, what the hell is Arya going to do? I have no idea where her storyline is going. But I really enjoy how every woman in Game Of Thrones is a bad ass.
42. Davos is having none of Alliser Thorne.
43. Yes, back to the Wall. Melisandre better be slipping off to bring Jon Snow back to life.
48. Okay. Melisandre is a freaky alien witch and maybe I know nothing, but what I do know is that if she can hide all of that with a necklace, she can definitely bring Jon Snow back to life.