The following may sound all kinds of mean but it’s Monday and we’re allowed be a little grouchy on Mondays, alright?
As of today, October 19th, the world finally knows when the next Royal baby is due, having collectively held our breath since we first found out Kate Middleton had another bun in the oven. Haven’t you heard? You can now expect a baby brother or sister (or twins!) to the future King George to arrive kicking and screaming into the world some time in April. Ahhh, the relief!
Another celebrity baby to coo over. Another chance to obsess over a woman who will carry a child for nine months (like every other woman on the planet) only to then give birth (like every other woman on the planet) as we keep an eye on the gossip columns for updates on the severity of her morning sickness and, eventually, the timings between her contractions(!). It’s also a chance for even more creepy baby memorabilia to line the shelves of British airport gift shops. Haven’t you seen the selection of mugs adorned with baby George’s face? Collectors’ items they are.
‘Til then, we can resume our daily to do lists, and hopefully catch up on the sleep we’ve been missing while this suspense has been killing us. Oh but wait, Blake Lively’s just spoken out about her pregnancy cravings again. AND she’s posted another photo of her bump on her Preserve blog because of course, we want to know everything there is to know about her journey. Considering herself a lifestyle guru these days, Blake isn’t after the usual smattering of greasy hot dogs with her pregnancy, but something far more suitable to her celebrity life. Rather, the Gossip Girl star is craving ‘hand-churned organic pumpkin ice cream and “small-batch” pickles’. The hand-churned part is vital, obviously. As for small-batch pickles? We don’t even know what they are.
Yes, this appears to have made actual NEWS. What Blake Lively eats for her dinner makes headlines because she’s pregnant.
There’s just something a little off here. Do people actually care what one person in the spotlight is craving in the wee hours of the morning? We don’t know her, she doesn’t know us, and in case anybody forgot, neither Blake nor Kate Middleton are among the first women to have ever been pregnant. There was countless before them and there’ll be countless after.
In Kate’s defense, she doesn’t really want anybody knowing the intimate details of her pregnancy. She has enough of a tough time with her every move chronicled by the press. It’s hard enough suffering with your pregnancy to the extent that Kate has been without a camera locked firmly on your bump. We should probably give her a break.
Blake, on the other hand, seems compelled to share every minutiae of hers, almost styling her pregnancy as though it was the latest catwalk trend to adhere to. You could even go so far as to think she may be using her pregnancy as a marketing tool, shaping her image in the media around her pending motherhood. Granted, she looks fantastic, but if she must share so much, what we’d really appreciate seeing is an accurate reflection of what being pregnant is like. Not all of us can afford to spend our pregnant days making organic hand-churned jam while our husbands give us hour long foot massages in bed. No, if you’re pregnant in the real world you’re still working a 9-5, you’re knackered and you do not look like you’ve just stepped off a ‘look how happy and glowing I am when I’m pregnant’ commercial to advertise some organic pregnant hokum.
We can just imagine the endless stream of ‘here’s my organic baby frolicking in a field with some organic chickens on our organic farm’ updates when the baby eventually arrives. God help us.
Are you, like us, also sick of the celebrity pregnancy story cycle that trundles on and on and on? Or are we too grouchy for our own good on this Monday afternoon?
Enough is enough, we think. But what about you? Share your thoughts below.