If you have Valentine’s Day 2015 penciled in because it’s Fifty Shades day and you’re hoping naked Jamie Dornan, rethink those boozy gal pal plans. Yesterday, in an interview with The Observer, the Northern Irish actor confirmed we would not be seeing his manhood on screen. The Fall star told the publication that; “There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um…”
Why Jamie? Why? The actor explained director Sam Taylor-Johnson’s vision is one that wants “to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic… Sam is a very bright woman, so there might be some suggestive elements to it, but I haven’t seen it at this stage, so it is hard for me to say. I’m aware of what we shot, and it wasn’t as if we shot a film without any action.”
Considering Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the most-hyped about movie adaptations in recent times with a source novel promising nothing but magical rules-of-matter defying orgasms and a scene where the supposedly devastatingly sexy male lead pulls a tampon out of his lover before making bathroom sink love, we feel a bit cheated at the intimations that the movie will treat nudity in a ‘classy’ manner.
Also, after Ben Affleck briefly flashed the goods in Gone Girl, we thought this was a new penis-flashing era for cinema. Michael Fassbender led the way for the modern man in the critically acclaimed Shame while Jason Segel played his penis for laughs, and equality, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a movie that got him on the Image.ie crush list.
Will you be bothered watching Fifty Shades sans Dornan’s privates?
Follow Jeanne Sutton on Twitter @jeannedesutun