FML: Five ways to deal with the hell-vortex that is the toddler years

I am standing in my house shouting "STOP. SHOUTING." If I wasn't so crazed with irritation I would probably be able to laugh at the irony of shouting "stop shouting" at someone. I am covered in bruises, there's a streak of black something smeared across my face and I've cried twice today. No, I have not been through some kind of ordeal. I've just spent seven hours with my toddler son and been pushed to...