In 2025, we are failing our boys

After finishing Adolescence, my first feeling was fear.

I turned to my roommates and said the thought of having a baby and raising a child in today’s world terrified me. The pressures they face, the structures they navigate and the ever-changing, unstable nature of their online lives feels overwhelming. How do you protect young people not only from the internet but from themselves too? Because while the world wide web may be influencing their cognitive processes, their interactions with one another are just as concerning. From Snapchat to Instagram, they speak in a language adults will never fully grasp or understand. It’s a secret world, and we are refused entry into it. 

All children and teenagers are vulnerable in today’s society, but after watching the critically acclaimed series by Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham, I find myself most concerned for the future of young men. We are living in a time when some are trying to turn misogyny into a way of life, a belief system – almost a religion – to live by. Gender bias, chauvinism and patriarchy are being framed as virtues, a code of conduct that men everywhere must adhere to.

There is a type of man who has gained notoriety on social media over the last few years. He is loud, crass, abrasive and often, unapologetically controversial. He thrives on attention, feeds on shock value and pushes the boundary of what is deemed acceptable in the hopes that he provokes a reaction. This man is a defender of traditional values, a countryman, a citizen concerned with the well-being of the cohort. The undertone in his words is a traditional one from a time when rigid stereotypes were king and masculinity was defined by dominance. 

His followers online are mostly impressionable young men, too fresh to think critically, too eager to belong to a community that promises validation and purpose. Unable to form identities of their own, they see these men as a pillar of stability in a world that is becoming increasingly chaotic. Easily swayed by toxic ideals, this man gives simple answers to complex questions and our young people inhale the observations verbatim. 

The truth is, we have given this man a platform. For too long, we entertained the preening, the hubris and the brazen posturing, and in doing so, we have failed young men. 

From Andrew Tate to Conor McGregor, these figures have become a distorted version of masculinity through their proliferation of the manosphere. Tate is a self-styled ‘misogynist influencer’ currently charged with human trafficking and other offences in Romania and a separate civil action in the UK from four women who have alleged rape and coercive control between the years 2013 and 2016. A former kickboxer, Tate was the third-most Googled person in 2023, has amassed more than 10 million followers on X and runs an online academy where he says he teaches young men how to get rich and attract women.

Meanwhile, in November 2024, the Irish High Court ruled in a civil case that Conor McGregor had assaulted and raped Nikita Hand in 2018, ordering him to pay over €248,000 in damages. Despite losing several sponsorship and partnership deals at the time, McGregor continues to thrive with 46.7 million followers on Instagram alone. Not only was he invited to the White House by Donald Trump as part of their St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, but he has also announced his intention to stand as an independent candidate in Ireland’s upcoming presidential election. 

Watching a convicted rapist address millions with a right-wing rant about immigration while standing in the house that supposedly leads the free world was nothing short of a dystopian nightmare. It was a chilling reminder of how power and fame can blur the lines between right and wrong, allowing individuals who should face consequences to instead use their voices to perpetuate division and fear.

And thus, this is how we fail our boys time and time again. 

By allowing men who have committed wrong, who speak ill of women and minorities, and who perpetuate a world where the male gender is seen as supreme above all others, we enable the continuation of harmful ideologies. We show boys that no matter the severity of their actions, consequences are not inevitable. These transgressions become mere blips on the radar, insignificant and easily overlooked, teaching them that influence can shield them from accountability. Doing wrong will not destroy them; in some cases, it only bolsters their cause. It amplifies their message, solidifies their quest and it is young men who will deteriorate as they consume this media, as they absorb their manifestos. These already vulnerable minds are led further down a winding path of destruction and alienation. 

The blame here lies not only with the individuals but with the systems that allow them to prosper. Legal systems enable them, whether through leniency in sentencing, lack of ramifications or an inability to address the deeper societal harms they perpetuate. The law sometimes acts as a shield rather than a deterrent.

Social media platforms continue to spread the virus. Harmful content continues to be prioritised, moderating and fact-checking a distant memory. The likes of Facebook and TikTok now turn a blind eye to the damage being done in return for a profit and a spot at the presidential inauguration. Then they continue to let these men speak ‘their truth’, the vitriol is allowed to bloom, the stage for their narrative is set. Repercussions fail to exist in this land made by men. 

So, what do we do? How do we fix this? How do we protect our children? How do we save our boys? 

The answer isn’t simple, but we must continue to hold these figures accountable. We need to challenge and disarm the platforms that allow such ideologies to spread unchecked, demanding stricter regulations and the removal of harmful content. We need education. We need to teach young people, especially young men, the importance of empathy and respect. We need to create a culture of accountability. We need to push for a society where kindness and vulnerability aren’t ridiculed but celebrated. 

We need to step up. We need to continue having difficult conversations, even when they make us uncomfortable. We need to call out harmful behaviours, even when it feels easier to stay silent. Because change doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it requires all of us to actively participate. 

Our young people deserve it. Our girls should grow up in a world without fear. 

And our boys should too.