Meghan Markle has made it known that she can speak freely on her experience as a duchess — and the Royal Family aren’t happy

Following the release of the first episode of her new podcast Archetypes, the former Duchess of Sussex has given her biggest sit down interview since her appearance on Oprah just last year. In conversation with Allison P. Davis of The Cut, Markle got candid about where she stands with the Royal Family, how intense media attention continues to affect her, and whether there’s still room for forgiveness.

Appearing as the publication’s autumn issue cover star, it is clear that Meghan Markle will no longer be silent (or silenced). Revealing that she may rejoin Instagram after her Megxit from the platform, Markle reflected on the loss of control she felt over her ability to share details of her private life after becoming a member of the British Royal Family. “It was a big adjustment — a huge adjustment to go from that kind of autonomy to a different life,” Meghan said. “There’s literally a structure by which if you want to release photos of your child, as a member of the family, you first have to give them to the Royal Rota.”

Markle quickly quashes the rumours that have been circulating around the idea of an At Home With Meghan and Harry-esque docuseries, explaining that there’s a difference between a historical documentary and a reality docuseries. “The piece of my life I haven’t been able to share, that people haven’t been able to see, is our love story,” she says before adding, “I hope that [love wins] is the sentiment that people feel when they see any of the content or the projects that we are working on.”

The former Duchess has found a sense of comfort in the shroud of mystery, and the ability to use her voice as she sees fit. “When the media has shaped the story around you,” she tells The Cut, “It’s really nice to be able to tell your own story.” However, as the interview progresses, Markle touches on the overarching feeling that she and her husband were “upsetting the dynamic of the hierarchy” by simply existing.

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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced their decision to “step back as ‘senior’ members” of the British royal family on 8 January 2020, and now, two and a half years later, Meghan Markle tells The Cut that she has never signed anything that forbid her from speaking on her experience as a Royal, citing the fact that she’s “still healing” as her reason for not having done so yet.

As for forgiveness, Markle believes in its powerful importance. “It takes a lot more energy to not forgive,” she said. “But it takes a lot of effort to forgive. I’ve really made an active effort, especially knowing that I can say anything … I have a lot to say until I don’t. Do you like that? Sometimes, as they say, the silent part is still part of the song.”

In the aftermath of the interview, a source told Entertainment Tonight that the former Royal’s remarks during the interview and through her Archetypes podcast mark a “loss of trust” from the Royal Family. The source went on to say that the “royal family is disappointed by Meghan Markle’s latest comments in The Cut magazine and on her podcast. They are distressed that after stepping back from the royal family—claiming a need for privacy—she continues to publicize family matters in public.”

The difference, here, is autonomy — freedom of personal choice. The requirement of privacy obtained by bowing out of their Royal responsibilities allowed Meghan Markle to heal, and return to have her voice heard on her own terms.

To read our run-down on the backlash received after the release of her podcast, click here.