By Niamh Ennis
28th Sep 2024
28th Sep 2024
The language we use to describe work often centres around sacrifice. Niamh Ennis asks what would happen if we chose to reframe how we talk about work in a kinder, more qualitative way?
In a world filled with unnatural career expectations and out-of-reach notions of success, it’s easy to feel trapped in a one-size-fits-all narrative. We should, after all, be doing everything in our power to “have it all”, to “claim our seat at the table,” to keep climbing that corporate ladder and prove ourselves worthy of breaking that “glass ceiling”.
Yet these phrases, and the words you select to explain them, do not reflect the multifaceted nature of women’s experiences as we strive to chase our career aspirations, nurture our relationships, and pursue that elusive sense of fulfilment and balance in our lives. When describing success and ambition, it nearly always focuses on the sacrifices we made to get there.
But is this reflective of how we really feel and is the language we use even ours? Gone are the days when success was solely measured by job titles, salary figures, or corner offices. Today, it’s as diverse and malleable as the individuals that are striving for it.
What we want from our careers and our lives has changed, so how we ask for it and the words we choose to articulate that desire need to follow suit. Instead of framing our successes in terms of sacrifice, we need to engage in a more hopeful and liberating lexicon that will give us permission to externalise how we’re feeling internally, and confidently ask for what we need.
Be the change
You can initiate this by challenging your own limiting language. It’s perfectly ok to want what you want, whether that’s a career jump or to stay exactly where you are, and equally, it’s ok for that to change. No more downplaying the conflicting feelings you’re experiencing around your shifting goals and, in its place, celebrate your leadership, not by the industry standards, but by your own broader human ones.
Allowing yourself to develop your own language around measures for success and ambition will make it easier to reconcile your changing attitudes about your career path. It’ll help you find deeper resonance with your passions, align fully with your modified values, and embrace every bump on your own path towards growth and expansion.
In doing so, you’ll dispense with the notion that success must come at the expense of personal fulfilment and instead advocate for an approach that prioritises your wellbeing. By choosing your own words, you’ll inspire other women to do the same. No longer confined to narrow definitions and descriptions of achievement, you’ll pave the way for a more diverse and personalised career trajectory with unwavering confidence and focus.
Rephrasing the big career questions
Are you focused on what you’re sacrificing in order to show up in your career, or could you focus on what is it that you’re choosing to prioritise now?
Do you use words such as ambitious, confident and assertive to describe men in the workplace, versus ruthless, arrogant and aggressive for women?
Stop asking if women really have it all and consider how can we support women to navigate the challenges of balancing our careers with other parts of our lives.
Try rephrasing the following phrases:
“I don’t feel driven in my career anymore” to “I’m hungry for my own renewed definition of success,” or “I release all guilt because for me right now, balance is about doing what I love, with who I love.”
“I’m worried about dropping the ball when I’m trying to do everything” to “I’m releasing my attachment to perfection.”
Niamh Ennis is Ireland’s leading transformation coach and business mentor through her private practice, programmes, workshops, and podcast. You’ll find Niamh at niamhennis.com.
This article originally appeared in the Summer 2024 issue of IMAGE Magazine.
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Feature image via @succession.
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