Every parent will relate to this Twitter thread on the impossible questions children ask before bed
By Edaein OConnell
01st May 2020
01st May 2020
A new Twitter thread has exposed the inquiring minds of young children and it is the best thing we have seen on the internet in months
Children are the world’s most inquisitive beings.
They ask questions about everything and don’t hold back when it comes to improving their general knowledge.
One mother has documented this journey in a series of tweets and it is one of the most joyous pieces of content we have consumed in recent times.
Kate Bowler, a professor, best-selling author and podcast host, began to document the sometimes bizarre questions her six-year-old son asks when being put to bed.
Every night, in the sweetest voice, my six year old asks me a question in order to try and stall me from leaving. I commit to documenting these questions every night for the next 30 days because THAT KID HAS GAME.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 2, 2020
For the entire month of April, Kate wrote these down and shared the golden nuggets on Twitter for all of us to enjoy.
They range from the sweet and the philosophical to the funny and downright strange.
Here are some of our favourites.
Pumpkin seeds
Tonight: Mom…..mom…mom? Mom. Ok, mom. Have you ever eaten a pumpkin? COME BACK. Mom. Have you ever eaten pumpkin seeds? MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!!!!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 2, 2020
Are raccoons awake?
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: Mom?
Me: no. I love you but no.
Him: Are raccoons awake right now? Mom. They can’t kill you. MOM. They don’t have sharp enough teeth. MOM COME BACK HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IT IS SAFE I AM NOT AFRAID— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
One-eyed people?
He just yelled “DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH ONE EYE?” into the darkness.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
Funny cheese
Him: goodnight mom. Love you.
Me: love you (leaves)
Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese. …Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON?AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
The last megalodan
Me: Goodnight my love.
Him: Goodnight mom. This is a good.
Me: Yeah?
Him: Yes. I’m going to sleep now.
Me: Perfect. (leaves)
….
Him: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAST MEGALODON?
….
Him: (quietly) I think he lives in the ocean.
….
Him: THE BACIFIC OCEAN! MOMM. IN A COLD SPOT!— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
A ghost pirate
Me: I love you so much. Goodnight sweetie.
Him: does Dad have a job?
Me: yes.
Him: as a ghost pirate?
Me: not exactly
Him: right right right. That was a long time ago. When you were a kid. In the Civil Wars.
Me: goodnight lovie
Him: a long, long, long, long..
Me: GOODNIGHT— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 7, 2020
I picked you mom
Him: before you go, tell me one constellation of stars.
Me: Orion. Goodnight lovie.
Him: mom, wait! I have to tell you. [dramaric pause] I picked you.
Me: what?
Him: as a baby. I picked you. For my mom.
Me: [melting]
Him: I picked your tummy. You are MY mom.
Me: you win.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 9, 2020
The sun is lava
Him: (yelling) MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?
……
Him: (yelling) IS MAGIC REAL? IS A MAGIC TRICK A TRICK?
….
Him: (grumbling) Well now I am thinking about if the sun is just lava.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 11, 2020
Don’t forget to say goodnight to all the crystals
Me: love you sweetie. Night.
Him: goodnight. To all the crystals.
Me: okay
Him: who was the first person to ever find a crystal?
Me: goodnight love.
Him: in a caaaaaaaaaaaave with maaaaaaaany secrets.
Me: I don’t know how to explain you to other people.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 17, 2020
Can we make a wolf?
Me: Night lovie
Him: Does God sleep? Does God sleep on another planet? God didn’t make me Mom. You made me. With your body. And when I came out we looked at each and it was LOVE MOM. I love wolves. Can we make a wolf? With a collar? With a crystal on the collar? Tomorrow? Wolfs?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 19, 2020
Can I drive?
Him: Night! oh mom, I think this is a new tooth
**shows molar. WHAT. Is that a wisdom tooth? hiding alarm**
Me: oh dear. you are getting older.
Him: OH! can I get my driver’s license?
Me: you are 6
Him: FINE! so can I stop the tooth from growing so I don’t grow up?!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 28, 2020
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