Love Island: There is a part of Amy Hart in all of us when it comes to heartbreak

After having her heart broken, Amy Hart put herself first and left the Love Island villa. We discuss the lessons it taught us about love…

Last night as I watched Amy Hart dramatically leave Love Island I was hit with a realisation.

I am Amy Hart.

Maybe not so intrinsically or fully as that sounds, but in many ways, I can relate to the former islander. Amy has been through the wringer. From falling in love to getting her heart broken she has been on a neverending journey. The public fell in and out of favour with her quicker than Missguided updates its new in section, and I am the same.

There are many facets of her behaviour that I didn’t agree with, much more that made me cringe, but I also felt afraid for her. The levels of online abuse directed towards the 26-year-old were unfathomable at times, and to have your heart shattered in front of millions of viewers is soul-destroying.

Leaving the villa was putting herself first–and is that not the most romantic and real thing to happen on that island since the beginning?

Romantic comedies

Amy’s insecurities were clear from the start. In her leaving homily last night, she reiterated that on day one she never imagined someone would choose her. She had never had a boyfriend, didn’t know what love felt like but didn’t understand the equally toxic parts of it either.

I made a comment to friends recently that Amy is a girl who watched too many romantic comedies. In her mind, love was an aspirational ideal but one which if she reached, would illuminate her life. Unicorns would probably fly, and world peace would be a commandment.

Related: Have we gone too far with the Amy Hart commentary on ‘Love Island’?

The funny thing is, I said this knowing all too well that I was the girl who watched too many romantic comedies. How many times did I sit in the dark hungover watching Love Rosie through my tears? How I cursed the love gods for not giving me a childhood best friend who was in love with me. How many times did I watch You’ve Got Mail and get sad over the fact I didn’t have an online rapport with some lad on MSN?

And how many times did I watch 500 Days of Summer knowing perfectly well how it would end but sat hoping for a happily ever after for our two leads?

First taste of love

In us all there is an Amy. One who just wanted to be loved and to love in return. To have someone who worships the ground you walk on and forgets about the fact that you have crooked teeth and forget to shave your legs. I thought that having love in my life would complete me. I had health, happiness, family, friends, an education but I didn’t have romance which meant systematically, there was something off about me.

Amy fell in love with Curtis in the villa. She got her first taste of the thing they write songs about. The thing that killed Romeo and Juliet and the thing that supposedly makes the world go around. One can only imagine the euphoria, excitement and ecstasy she felt in those initial few weeks.

Where’s the ‘I’m so invested in these two I feel like my own heart is broken’ emoji? #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/PxL1CzUr45

— Love Island (@LoveIsland) July 9, 2019

Curtis is a professional ballroom dancer and true to form, danced all over her heart. Unrequited love is a bitch and he didn’t feel quite the same for her as she did for him. He loved her but wasn’t in love with her. The initial flourishes of love will blind you to the behaviour of a person–you see what you want to see. And if Amy had taken the blinkers off, she might have seen the cracks in Curtis. Just like I ignored the fractures in my relationship to hold onto the good.

Many times post-Casa Amor it seemed like Amy would have jumped at another chance to tango with Curtis. Thankfully, she didn’t and came to a much greater and more powerful realisation. This enlightenment was putting herself and her needs first. She wanted Curtis to be happy but to see him move on with someone else right in front of her eyes would have been too much to take. Amy left on her terms, not for anybody else.

Parallel life

Throughout last night’s episode, I couldn’t help but feel like my life paralleled with Amy’s. At one point in her tearful speech to Curtis, she said: “I’m going to start the rest of my life today”. This might seem dramatic for four weeks lived in a villa, but when a courtship ends this is the overarching feeling. Through the finality and the heartbreak, there’s the fresh air that echoes a new life to be lived.

And even though her heart broke in the last week, she would have taken it again, just so she could have the happiness of the other four. When a relationship comes to its ending credits your heart mourns for two things; what it was and what it could have been. When mine came to its eventual finale, I knew I had to let go of both, but I still would have lived through the bad again just so I could have had the good.

“We will have the best friendship you’ve ever seen in your life.” Amy telling Curtis she’s leaving the villa has got us in FLOODS. ? #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/zzp4B1Q6rf

— Love Island (@LoveIsland) July 9, 2019

In Amy’s case, I hope she has realised that no romantic relationship will ever be as momentous or paramount as the one she has with herself. She got her taste of love; the good, the bad and the ugly. Now, she can move on remembering what she had but now knowing deep down she is perfect on her own and doesn’t need the romantic validation of another. Love will come back into her life. This time, however, it will be the love she deserves–not what she settles for because she thinks she needs it. I hope the same for me, too.

Love is a frenzied assortment of hormones, pheromones and what-ifs, but it should never be a detriment to you. Amy showed you and your own life is more important than any love or island of love. We are, were and will be in the same predicament as Amy at some point in our lives albeit in different circumstances–but the lessons are the same.

True romance is realism with a dash of hope for something more. It’s all we can ever wish for.

Which means we are all Amy Hart.

Read more: Love Island: How Michael’s behaviour gave us all a lesson in ‘gaslighting’ 

Read more: Love Island’s Maura gives a masterclass in how to deal with slut-shaming

Read more: I watched ‘Love Island’ for the first time and here’s what I thought…