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Following Friday night’s Comic Relief on RTÉ, Niall Horan’s fans from across the world are calling for Dustin the Turkey to be cancelled – here is why
There are talks of Micheál Martin closing the country’s border.
The army is on stand-by. Rumours are circulating that tea, sugar, butter, and bread will be rationed. Bob Geldof is organising a relief concert.
Ireland’s international relations have never been so icy.
Dustin and Ray D’Arcy are now hiding in the Wicklow Mountains.
All because One Direction and Niall Horan fans are going to war.
And Ireland is the target.
Yes, you heard it right. Hell hath no fury like scorned Niall Horan stans. Following Friday night’s Comic Relief on RTÉ, his fans were outraged at Ireland’s sweetheart Dustin the Turkey. During Niall’s pre-recorded performance, Dustin shouted “We wanted Harry Styles…You’re only getting a minute and a half…I didn’t realise people from Mullingar had teeth!”
To Niall Horan’s most devoted fans, this was sacrilege. This was like being given the Body of Christ and throwing it back at the priest’s face. Or telling your dairy farmer father-in-law that you’re a vegan.
There was complete and utter outrage. Dustin was roasted like the main course at Christmas Day dinner.
Tweets like: “I don’t like Dustin the turkey. Never found him funny. His act is to offend people. Cutting Niall short was so disrespectful and 1D should not have been brought into it.”
“What they did to Niall was extremely disrespectful and rude. He didn’t have to sing for them either and interrupting him saying they wanted Harry instead is uncalled for. Harry would not be singing for your crusty asses anyway!”
Never in my lifetime, have I heard the behinds of the Irish nation referenced as “crusty”, but this is the time we live in people.
People were shouting “RESPECT NIALL HORAN” across the Twitter timelines – because the multi-millionaire singer-songwriter obviously doesn’t have enough of it already.
There were calls to report the behaviour of both Dustin and Ray D’Arcy to the powers that be in RTÉ.
Dustin replied to the controversy on Twitter saying, “Lads, I’m a lover, not a fighter”
However, it remains to be seen whether the Niall Horan fan club will forgive the puppet with one supporter lamenting: “Niall deserves everything great. I think we should again remind them that they are messing with the wrong fandom.”
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