Michelle Browne: ‘My generation is the first in Ireland to have taken to the divorce courts en masse’
Here, Michelle Browne shares the personal experiences that led her to writing Scars of Divorce, a part-memoir, part-how-to-guide that she hopes will help people find a better way to deal with divorce.
We recently featured an extract from Scars of Divorce by Michelle Browne. Here, we sit down with the author to talk about navigating the tricky waters of separation and divorce within the Irish legal system, her writing process, and literary influences.
In the book, Michelle tells the story of her own difficult, but typical, divorce in Ireland. It was a harrowing and upsetting experience, which dealt with the traditional court system using solicitors and barristers. In telling her story, Michelle examines the process in detail and explains the costs, both financial and emotional, of a legal system that is failing so many couples. She then addresses the alternatives available to the traditional legal route, offering a solution to achieving an amicable separation outside of the courtroom.
Did you always want to be a writer?
Not always no, but I’ve had a secret desire to tell a story for a long time now. I suppose it’s not a secret anymore.
What inspired you to start writing?
This book was written to start a conversation about how we divorce in Ireland. It is a passionate plea for change from our traditional system, a system which has been well overdue for a revamp. In the book, I explain in detail all of the alternatives to litigation which are currently available in Ireland. I firmly believe a sea-change in how we do divorce in Ireland is on the horizon.
Where did the idea for this book come from?
It came from my own personal experience of the family courts, and because I believe in my heart and soul that there is a better way to deal with divorce. The number of people divorcing and separating in Ireland is on the increase. Scars of Divorce provides information that may help people through their difficult journeys. My generation is the first generation in Ireland to have taken to the divorce courts en masse. Therefore, the effects on our children from how we have been dealing with divorce are yet to be fully realised. It is hugely important for me to explain to others that they don’t have to battle in court, that there are better ways to deal with conflict.
In my experience working with separating and divorcing clients, the use of the traditional system (i.e. opposing counsel, lengthy court cases against each other, large legal bills) of divorce is out of touch. Parents want for themselves, their ex-spouses and their children a simpler, less stressful, less costly way to move forward. Scars of Divorce also discusses how we as a society can help, and what our government can do to improve how we divorce in Ireland.
Tell us about your writing process.
When I met Gerry Kelly from Orphen Press and agreed to write this book, I had notions of taking myself off to Kilmore Quay, to write by the sea, in peace and tranquillity with crashing waves in the background, my laptop on my knees with pebbles under my feet. I needn’t tell you that that did not happen. Instead, I found some time in the evenings when my children went to bed.
When I had time to myself, I procrastinated as I told myself I had to clean the cooker, fridge, freezer and windows before I would sit down to write.
What did you learn when writing this book?
Writing this book was so cathartic. I learned that I’m stronger than I thought and change really is possible.
Do you have any quirky habits when writing?
Yes… I clean the house before I start!
The first book you remember reading is…
I can’t really recall… but I do remember loving The Famous Five and The Secret Seven by Enid Blyton.
Your favourite Irish author is…
That is a tough question, we have so many funny, talented, brilliant writers in Ireland. Ok, if I have to pick, Maeve Binchy.
The book you gift everyone is…
That really depends on who you’re gifting, Dad loves a thriller and mum, a good drama. My youngest girl loves history. The last book I purchased for my friend Suzanne was Rozanna Purcell’s The Hike Life. What a beautiful book!
Three books everyone should read:
A book about how to live: The Four Agreements, a little book by Don Miguel Ruiz, you couldn’t get wiser advice if you tried.
A book to educate: Professor Luke O’Neill, what a rock of sense, with humour thrown in. Never Mind the B#llocks, Here’s the Science is excellent.
Finally, for some love and self-awareness: Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly. I love, love, love Brene Brown.
You overcome writer’s block by…
A long walk. Walking, for me, is powerful. If that doesn’t work, brainstorming ideas with myself and my notepad.
Do you listen to music when you write?
Nope – definitely not.
The best money you ever spent as a writer was on…
As of yet, nothing. For me, the older I get, the more I want to spend on making memories. So it will always be a trip away over a big purchase.
The three books you’d bring with you to a desert island are…
Something funny; The Snapper, or any of Roddy Doyle’s books.
Some escapism; Circle of Friends or any of Maeve Binchy’s wonderful stories.
Tim O’Shei – How to Survive on a Deserted Island. Well, if I knew I was going, it would seem a fairly obvious choice!
A quote you love is…
I came across this quote a number of years ago, I was feeling fairly trampled upon and worn out with life. I was listening to Brene Brown and heard her quote it. It resonated with me so much, I just love it.
From Daring Greatly:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions: who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” — Theodore Roosevelt.
The book you always return to is…
Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly.
Seeing your book in shops is…
A personal triumph.
One book you wish you had written is…
Jack Reacher, which was based on a novel by Lee Child because I could have gotten to be in a movie with Tom Cruise (as the author Lee Child did)!
How do you use social media as an author?
Very badly. I have an Instagram page for my business (@browneandcomediation) but I have a lot to learn to get it going!
Do you find it hard not to procrastinate when writing?
Absolutely. I have the cleanest house in Ireland before I start!
The best advice you’ve ever gotten is:
Head up, shoulders back, you’ve got this!
Also Read
