Yes, I’ve found it. The mother of all massages. Call off the search party.
In my estimation, massages have always been something that sound a lot more appealing than they are in practice. Much like having a bath, these activities have become charged with an almost spiritual quality thanks to the self-care crusaders, the people who admonish you for not setting intentions each morning and journaling each night.
In the past, I have found massages to be, at most, quite nice. Because they are a treat and not something we get to experience as much as we may like, our expectations are automatically inflated, and we make the ultimately absurd assumption that the touch of a massage therapist’s hand will dissolve all our worries, and lead us towards previously unexplored realms of relaxation.
We assign these extremely idealistic aspirations to a number of holistic wellness rituals —sound baths, sensory deprivation tanks, breathwork classes — but when it comes down to it, many of us find the in-or-around 60 minutes of mental downtime to be quite the tall order, opting instead to file through mental to-do lists instead of fully switching off.
Cut to me directly after experiencing Masterpiece – The Art of Massage at the five-star Fota Island Resort Spa, completely and utterly converted.
As its name may suggest, the treatment itself is nothing short of a masterpiece, and is essentially choreographed to beautifully atmospheric piano-led music from Italian composer Ludovico Einauadi. Divided into two distinct sections — Act 1 and Act 2 — the massage has been carefully created and aligned by senior therapists using the highest level of movements and craft, focusing on different techniques and improvisation following body cues.
Taking inspiration from music, each massage therapist interprets this technique with their own unique fusion of creativity, expression, and intuition, and my 70 minutes with Aleksandra were nothing short of spectacular.
The treatment begins with the chime of a singing bowl, bathing you in sound before the music starts to fill the air and warm massage oil is liberally applied. Aleksandra began with firm pressure, rhythmically moving in time with the music, before incorporating wooden sticks that were used to tap and push, aiding in lymphatic drainage and general de-puffing.
It’s described as an “unparalleled synthesis of expertise and artistry, where every touch has been mastered to the highest level of massage craft” — and that pretty much hits the nail on the head. The flow of the music coupled with the fluidity of the movements has a genuinely immersive effect. It completely floods your mind, washing out any temptation to get sidetracked and start thinking about pesky stressors.
At certain points, and I’m being entirely serious here, I felt like I was dancing with Aleksandra, such was the extent of the synchronicity of the music and movement. She would massage the length of my arm, raising it in the air and stretching it this way and that, and because it was so perfectly in time with the ebb and flow of the classical music, I wasn’t sure if I was leading or being led.
The Masterpiece Treatment also comes with a complementary Ground Wellbeing Kit, which includes Beo Breathe Bath Salt, Beo Uplifting Body Oil, and The Art of SelfCare Pamphlet, worth €35, to extend your relaxation journey beyond the treatment room.
Once your treatment ends, you’re free to unwind in the relaxation room, sip on some fresh orange juice and fruit, and make good use of the Thermal Suite, which includes a hydrotherapy pool, walking river, steam room and heated loungers plus the Spa Garden which has an outdoor shower and sauna amongst the trees.
It goes without saying that putting on your real people clothes and returning to the land of normality is incredibly hard after spending the afternoon inside a sliver of perfect peace, but I resolved to not just return and to make these self-care experiences a monthly priority. You never know what might surprise you, and become your new favourite method of relaxation.
Masterpiece: The Art of Massage, €180 for 70 minutes, book here.