The dos and don’ts of supporting someone who might be suicidal

By Erin Lindsay
09th Sep 2022

The dos and don’ts of supporting someone who might be suicidal

In honour of World Suicide Prevention Day, we take a look at how you can support someone who might be suicidal

For many of us, thinking about suicide, much less talking about it, can be difficult. We might feel upset, angry or just overwhelmed. But supporting those who might be feeling suicidal is so important.

The latest figures from the National Office for Suicide Prevention have shown that suicide rates in Ireland have fallen to some of their lowest levels in 20 years. However, an unknown number of cases still go unreported due to stigma and contradicting causes of death – car crashes or drownings for example. Without an explicit admission, it’s very difficult in some cases to rule whether it was an accident or intentional and out of respect for grieving families, official reporting tends to lean towards the former. Ultimately, we still have a long way to go.

If you think a loved one might be feeling suicidal, and are unsure of the best way to support them, here are some dos and don’ts to help.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions

If you think a loved one might be feeling suicidal, don’t be afraid to ask them in a clear and sensitive way. Many people are afraid to say the words in case it will ‘give the person an idea’, but asking them “you seem low, and I’m worried about you — are you thinking of ending your life?” will give them the chance to open up and begin the conversation around how they feel.

Do listen and let them talk

This may be the first time this person has spoken about suicide. Give them space to explain how they feel and why they feel that way. Be there for them and let them speak for as long as they need to.

Don’t get upset or angry

Try to stay calm and don’t get frustrated if your friend isn’t ready to talk. Do not try to minimise or dismiss how they’re feeling. Although it can be overwhelming, remember that you are there to support them and remain as non-judgemental as possible.

Do reassure them

Let them know that they’re not alone and that there is lots of help out there to support them. Let them know that you’ll be there for them to listen when they need to talk.

Don’t do it all alone

If a friend has told you that they are thinking about suicide, there are lots of services and support out there — don’t put pressure on yourself to be the only one who can help. Think about who can give support — family members, work colleagues, and mental health professionals. If there is an immediate risk that the person may harm themselves, they will need emergency help.