By Amy Lynch
24th Sep 2024
24th Sep 2024
Photo by Alex Padurariu on Unsplash
What’s your definition of self-care? Up until last week, Amy Lynch didn’t consider going to the dental hygienist regularly as falling into the self-care category. She does now.
From tackling sleep to managing stress, making time for fun, improving mental health, and getting on top of exercise, self-care means something different to everyone.
And the thing is, if you’d asked me last month to grade myself on how I’m doing at self-care I’d have shamelessly given myself an A+. And why not? I’m learning to strike a work-life balance, and acing it at eating, exercising, and sleeping well. Hey, I even let my hair down at the weekend, girl.
However, last week something was starting to niggle…
Dental dilemma
We’ll blame it on September, the official month of “Focusing on The Kids”. All disposable income had been spent on secondary school books, uniforms, and shiny black shoes. Spare time had been spent on driving “mum’s taxi” and navigating their new timetable. All headspace had been spent on reassuring and preparing them. Not much left for me. Sound familiar?
It was during one of those school runs, followed by a dash to the office, that the dental niggle began. It started as a small twinge, the type that zings when you drink that first cup of much-needed coffee. A few days later it was a pulsing throb, the type that couldn’t be ignored – even if I was devoid of time, headspace, and cash.
X-rays confirmed that it was my gums that were in fact kicking off, inflamed, and aggravating a nerve. A deep clean with the hygienist was next. The last time I saw her she was about to start maternity leave and now she was back.
With the left side of my face numb, I raced back for a video call with colleagues who no doubt struggled to understand what I was saying.
Pity party
The following week I was back for another hygienist session, still in terrible pain. Again, she wasn’t shy with the anaesthetic and set about tackling the inflamed gums.
At the reception desk, I was trying to pronounce the word “October” to confirm my next visit. It was only when the receptionist handed me a tissue that I realised that I had drooled down my shirt and onto the counter. As you do.
I drove home, Celine Dion on full blast, feeling like I’d done a few rounds with Rocky. In the rearview mirror, I saw that I looked like one of those creepy Victorian dolls, each eye not quite blinking away the tears at the same time.
The waterworks continued at home. “No,” I tried to explain to my concerned husband, “I wasn’t in terrible pain – I was simply hosting a pity party for one”.
Self-care dodging
The World Health Organization defines self-care as: “the ability to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.” It includes everything related to staying physically healthy – including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when needed. It’s all the steps an individual can take to manage stressors in his or her life and take care of his or her own health and well-being.
Yet many of us are failing to hit to mark.
I can think of much more fun ways to spend €80 than a dental hygiene visit. Like a new pair of shoes, for example.
US dental company Byte surveyed 1,000 people and discovered that 61% of people put off their dental appointments. But why? More than half of respondents stated that their dental procrastination was due to the expense, and almost half claimed that anxiety was the reason for postponing appointments.
Rachel Ann Tee-Melegrito is an occupational therapist who says that the barriers to self-care include feeling selfish or guilty, lack of time, lack of understanding, belief that self-care is expensive, and lack of self-compassion.
The financial reason for skipping an appointment resonates with me. In this cost of living crisis, I can think of much more fun ways to spend €80 than a dental hygiene visit. Like a new pair of shoes, for example.
Putting myself first
How is it, I pondered as I drank lukewarm tea through a straw, that I made it into my mid-40s without so much as a cavity but now I find myself in such a state that I’m counting down ‘til the next painkiller?
The answer was simple: I’d skipped the last two dental hygiene appointments. And kicking the self-care can down the road is a habit that comes with consequences.
Yet here’s an interesting nugget: the number of dental – or any – appointments I’ve missed for my children is zero. In fact, I’m currently involved in a debate with my eldest over which colour she should choose for the elastic bands that go on her very expensive braces.
If I wouldn’t allow anyone else’s care to slip, why do I allow it for myself?
Daragh Fleming is a writer and owner of award-winning mental health blog, Thoughts Too Big. “Self-care is doing things that you know you ought to. Going to the dentist is self-care. Exercising is self-care. Being accountable for yourself is self-care,” says Daragh. “If you saw a person that you’re responsible for suffering, you wouldn’t allow it to continue. You’d make sure you did everything you could to better the situation. Self-care is treating yourself the exact same way, even when you really don’t want to. Most days I don’t want to go running, but I’m always glad I made myself do it when it’s over.”
Daragh’s thoughts on self-care hit a nerve: if I wouldn’t allow anyone else’s care to slip, why do I allow it for myself?
As my painkillers wore off I made a pact to divert some of that time, headspace, and cash in my own direction. Time to start putting myself on the top of the priority list.
Self-care is a bit like those safety instructions you hear before your flight takes off: you put your own oxygen mask on before you tend to someone else’s. Face it: if you’re gasping for air, how are you going to help anyone else?
This article was originally published in September 2023.
Related Stories
Also Read
