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I definitely recommend journaling, there is so much research and scientific-based evidence to prove that when we write something down it changes the way our brain perceives it. So often a client will say to me they have a thousand balls in the air and when we take out a pen and paper in a session they realise that there are four balls and suddenly they seem so much easier to manage.
Lots of people I chat with are afraid they will get journaling wrong and from what I’ve seen, you can’t as long as you’re being honest. I keep it really simple, I find it best before I go to sleep (everyone differs on the best times of the day, you do you) I write down the word “thoughts” and I write down really briefly what thoughts are in my mind. I then go through them and notice which ones are in my control and which ones are not – if they are in my control I write down at least one action I could do and if they are not in my control I put a line through them (instant relief).
I then write down the word “feelings”, and I do a body scan to notice what physical feelings (eg pain in my shoulder) or emotional feelings (anxiety in my stomach) are present and I begin to get curious, not judgmental or critical, just curious about what attention they might need. I leave my journal on my bedside table to keep the habit installed through visibility, but you can set an alarm on your phone until the habit is automatic for you.
I also have clients who love to talk it out, they have voice recorder apps on their phones and they go for a walk, chat away like they are on a call and then listen back to themselves – first time listening back with curiosity, second time as if they were listening to friend saying it all and they notice how it sounds and what they would say back. This works a treat for lots of people.
I love immediate gratitude, when you open your eyes first thing in the morning to feel the immense gratitude to be here on this giant floating ball in the sky for one more day. After all, time and tide wait for no one. I think because I’ve lost people in my life that I’ve loved so dearly I know the pain of wanting just one more minute with them.
I also love picking three things in the morning that I’m looking forward to that day, maybe it’s the first sip of coffee, the sound of the birds, or seeing my friend… this sets the brain up to track for the joy when it arrives but it also gives us an immediate hit of it just by thinking these thoughts and using our imaginations.
Finally, last thing at night it can be a beautiful practice to give thanks for the most valuable lesson you learned that day. Not all that you got done but what you learned about yourself, someone else or the world.
Notice what practice feels the most comfortable for you. We all tune into our senses differently; we all learn differently – some people are really visual, some are auditory etc. From this, notice what brings the purest, most impactful emotion and then get curious about which practice helps the feeling to linger the longest. Sometimes it can be as simple as picking three things that you are grateful for when you are sitting at a red traffic light; don’t overcomplicate it. So often the simplest pleasure is in the normal, random, everyday stuff that we take for granted.
