Why friendships are our deepest connections

Our friends are often the very ones who lift us when we stumble, they celebrate our wins as if they were their own, and they hold space for us when life feels too heavy for us to carry alone. But what is it that makes these relationships so special? Why do friendships, in many ways, feel as sacred and significant as our familial bonds? The answer lies in something deeply rooted in human connection: choice.

The True Power Of Choice

When it comes to our families, we are tied by blood and lineage, a connection that’s both beautiful and complex. However, friendships are uniquely different because they are grounded in mutual choice. Unlike the family we are born into, friends are people we invite and welcome into our lives intentionally. We choose to walk alongside them, through life’s ebbs and flows, and equally they choose us in return.

This mutual selection creates a wonderful sense of empowerment and freedom. Friendships allow us to step away from the obligatory and embrace the chosen. We aren’t bound by tradition or expectation but rather by a deep sense of respect, shared values, and unconditional love.

Friends As Your Support System

While family bonds often come with a sense of duty, friendships give you room to define and amend the dynamics of support on our own terms. Just think about those friends who show up for you without question during tough times, the ones who listen without judgment, or those who offer a safe space to be unapologetically yourself. These friends aren’t just people you pass the time with—they’re your sounding boards, your cheerleaders, and your confidantes.

In many ways, friends become a chosen support system that often fills gaps where family cannot. Maybe you’ve experienced times when it wasn’t your family, but your friends who truly understood you, stood by your side, and championed your growth. It’s little wonder that we find ourselves calling our closest friends “sisters,” “brothers,” or even “our tribe.”

The Changing Dynamics Of Friendship

As we grow and evolve, so too do our friendships. Gone are the days when friendships were formed simply out of proximity or convenience. As we move through different phases of life; whether it’s career changes, parenthood, or personal transformation and new locations, we continue to seek friendships that nurture our deepest needs and align with our evolving values.

Today’s friendships are more intentional, forged with people who empower us, inspire us, and challenge us to become the very best versions of ourselves. This dynamic mirrors the familial bonds we value, but without the same boundaries. Friends can become family by offering that same stability, connection, and trust, while allowing us the room to express our individuality fully.

Friendships As A Lifeline

In fact, a 2019 study by UK based OnePoll revealed that 72% of people consider their closest friends to be part of their ‘chosen family,’ underscoring the deep bond we share with the people we actively choose to walk through life with. This research also shows that strong, meaningful friendships contribute to our overall well-being, both emotionally and physically. The mental health benefits of having a supportive circle are immense, from reducing stress to boosting our self-esteem. In fact, studies on the subject go so far as to reveal that people with close friendships live longer, healthier lives, underscoring the significance of nurturing these bonds.

In a world that’s becoming increasingly fast-paced, where social media can sometimes feel like a substitute for real connection, our true friends remain a lifeline. They remind us of our humanity, keep us grounded, and provide the safety net we need when life feels overwhelming.

Creating Your Chosen Family

As you continue navigating life’s complexities, one thing is certainty our chosen family is just as powerful, if not more so, than the one you were born into. The true beauty of friendship is that it is ever-evolving, adaptable to the rhythms of our lives, and rooted in love.

I’ve been blessed with the very best of friends, the kind who have become the family I chose; showing up for me in ways I never knew I needed. These relationships remind me every day that family isn’t just who we’re born to, but the people we surround ourselves with, who fill our lives with love, laughter, and unwavering support.
So, stop right now and take a moment to celebrate your friendships that feel like family to you. Send that text to your best friend, plan that get together you’ve been postponing, and cherish the fact that, in a world full of choices, you’ve chosen each other.

Photography by HBO.

Niamh Ennis is a leading Transformation Coach & Business Mentor who through her private practice, programmes, workshops, and podcast supports women to achieve clarity, build confidence, and master the strategies needed to elevate in life and business.  She’s also the Lead Coach in The IMAGE Business Club. Click here to get Niamh’s FREE ELEVATE Masterclass. Find her on Instagram @1niamhennis.