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‘The pandemic killed my fashion sense but one dress brought it back to life’
By Shayna Sappington
28th Aug 2021
28th Aug 2021
“During lockdown, I felt like I lost my sense of self and my confidence plummeted. I had to figure out how to get back to where I was, and it all started with a dress.”
I was 13 years old when I started caring about what clothes I wore and, like many can relate to, I turned to my big sister for guidance. She was the bravest person I knew, sporting blonde streaks and plastic chokers before they were cool (it was the early 2000s), while everyone else traipsed around in Hollister and MTV t-shirts.
And, eventually (after a cringey emo stage), I found my style somewhere in the cracks of what was trendy and what was ‘me’. I knew I had accomplished this when my friends started picking things off the rack, saying “This is SO you!” and I found myself agreeing with them. I had found my place and was comfortable in my own skin.
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Burn all the bras
But when the pandemic hit last year, everything changed. I switched out my girly blouses and colourful dresses for PJs and loungewear. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying this was a bad thing. In fact, it was great at the start. At one point, I even considered burning all my bras.
What I hadn’t noticed was the link that had formed between my surrendered fashion sense and the decrease in self-confidence that had crept in over the past year.
I went through a period where I wore no make-up, threw my hair in a bun and dressed in an oversized tee and tracksuit bottoms every day. I started to avoid the mirrors in my apartment because when I did catch a glimpse of myself, I became hypercritical. Pointing out the flaws in my skin, the frumpiness of my clothes and the pounds I’d accumulated during lockdown.
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The dress that changed everything
It wasn’t until I made a spur of the moment purchase that things changed and my confidence returned. Everyone has something that makes them feel like a star, whether it’s hanging out with your best friends, helping someone in need, indulging in your favourite meal, putting on a fresh face of make-up or, in my case, finding the perfect outfit.
I’m aware that this may seem shallow, and of course, I know that you shouldn’t attribute your self-worth to anything external. We’re all boss bitches just as we are, but I desperately needed to be reminded of that at the time, and that reminder appeared in the form of a bright and colourful midi dress.
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I had met a friend for lunch and decided to walk back on account of the gorgeous, sunny weather when I stumbled upon a small boutique. In the window display was an eye-catching, mauve dress with blocks of different coloured squares scattered across its floaty fabric. It was the strangest thing – I walked in and bought it without a second thought (and I hadn’t bought any new clothes in months).
The next day, I woke up more excited than I had been in a long time, slipped on the dress, dug out some old purple pumps from my wardrobe and even delved into my ‘special occasion’ make-up bag for my summery eyeshadow palette. I flew through the work day with a renewed sense of self-confidence, bashfully shrugged off compliments during Zoom meetings and later met up with some girl friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.
Finding my confidence
I couldn’t believe how much that one dress had changed my outlook that day. I realised that it wasn’t the lack of dressing up that made me feel low. It was that I didn’t feel like myself in the baggy, grey clothes I kept wearing every day. And how can you feel confident when you don’t feel like yourself?
So, after a complete overhaul of my wardrobe, I ordered some new clothes and pulled all my favourite, bold pieces to the forefront of my closet – bright colours, swishy skirts, puffy sleeves, and heels too. (I’m 5’2” and feel like a million bucks with a little lift). I started picking out my outfit the night before, and it actually makes me excited to get up the following morning.
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The pandemic may have killed my fashion sense, but it’s come back to life with a vengeance and I have no intentions of slowing it down.